WISH YOU HAPPY FOREVER

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

——from Iris, The Holiday

FAQ: The Illinois Aphid Swarm

村里这两天闹虫灾，漫天飞舞的小虫子跟阳光下的灰尘一样密密麻麻到处都是。号称这种蚜虫只爱大豆和一种叫buckthorn的树，十几年前从亚洲移民来米国，作风强悍，没有天敌。目前全校、全县、甚至全东伊利诺伊的空气里都充满了此虫，它们在夏末要从大豆田迁徙到树上产卵过冬，整个迁徙过程大概要好几周…… o_O

晚上考完试从Wohlers Hall正面出来，门口停了一辆白色巴士，突然就想起去年去纽约那天了，四个人大半夜的叫了出租拉了行李，一样的地点，差不多的时间，连天气都很像。最近总是看起来很暖的样子，有雪化后潮湿的地面和空气，似乎是春天了，从放假前就开始反复念叨的，Champaign镇的春天。可是还是不能避免的来去匆匆，各奔东西。有时候甚至很想念大雪覆盖的日子，至少还可以聚在某个角落，安全的闲着。春节那天先后被HD，HH拉去顶班，踩过厚厚的积雪，没有很兴奋，只觉得终于是时候醒来了，闲散而无忧的日子从此只在梦里，遥远而不可触摸。于是年味愈加淡去，反而是元旦渐渐清晰起来。只是那时候不知珍惜，还唏嘘Clyde每年独自一人来挤这狂欢。城市印象总是要和故事在一起的。不管是温馨舒适而嫩绿的Apple还是一直被我们叫成Smuggle的Snuggle，旅行从DC上空机长爷爷唱歌开始，游记却始终停留在Buffalo。早已定下离开的日程，然而感觉到的再见却提前在JJ再次启程去NYC的那天真实起来。那个周末自己窝在电脑前写年终总结，这一年发生过的大多数事情也许以后永远都不会再经历第二次，然而最终都慢慢的淡去了，也许这就是过年的意义所在，或多或少，或好或坏，每个人都有一个新的开始，喜欢与否，都要有一把坚持下去的理由。于是后来该说珍重的时候，反倒多了些坦然，keep our laughs and memories, and I wish you, as always, good luck.

good luck.